...queues

Throughout the year it is hard to find someone who is not busy doing this or that; going somewhere or plugged into the telly set. But Christmas is here!

Christmas is a great time for everyone to practice that great British pastime. Queuing.

Folks from all over the country, from all walks of life are standing around for up to 20 minutes doing nothing but standing in a queue.

People desperate for someone like you to tell them some good news. What a better way to put some life into the shopping trip. What a great opportunity!

But we need to practice. So natural it is to fall into that other British pastime.
-Moaning.

To help you get started I have included some excerpts from the:
"Good News - on Cue - Starters pack" (available from all good bookstores).

Introductory phrases: designed to initiate converse with otherwise non-interactive individual. (PLEASE MEMORIZE PRIOR TO LEAVING FOR SHOPPING OUTING)

"Don't you just love Christmas shopping. I get to buy all those things for my DOG/CHILDREN/BEST FRIEND (delete as appropriate) I've been resisting all year long".

"Isn't there a great atmosphere in TOWN/ARCADE/MARKET this time of year".

"Isn't it nice to a have rest for a few minutes, would you like me to pay for that for you?"

---

Interesting fact

"Word History: When the British stand in queues (as they have been doing at least since 1837, when this meaning of the word is first recorded in English), they may not realize they form a tail. The French word queue from which the English word is borrowed is a descendant of Latin cda, meaning “tail.” French queue appeared in 1748 in English, referring to a plait of hair hanging down the back of the neck. By 1802 wearing a queue was a regulation in the British army, but by the mid-19th century queues had disappeared along with cocked hats. Latin cda is also the source of Italian coda, which was adopted into English as a musical term (like so many other English musical terms that come from Italian). A coda is thus literally the “tail end” of a movement or composition."

...forgiveness

"C.S. Lewis wrote, 'Forgiveness goes beyond human fairness;it is pardoning those things that can't readily be pardoned at all'(2)
This is why it is always costly to forgive; we have to sacrifice our pride, our self-pity and our desire for justice. Our culture places tremendous stress on doing all we can to maintain our rights. When we forgive we are laying down our right to justice and our desire for revenge."(1)

(1) Nicky & Sils Lee The Marriage book, Alpha international publications 2002 p.174
(2) C.S.Lewis The Four Loves : Fount , Harper Collins religious 1998 p.116

...the speed camera van

The problem with having a birthday on a working day, is that you may
forget to fill up the car with petrol, in your eagerness to get home and
open pressies.
And you may then find yourself in a bit of a hurry getting to work the next
day.

Thank goodness for the hard working public spirited camera van operator. He allowed my mind to re-focus on the need for a staid and sedate journey to work. I'm also thankful for the efficient braking system of Mercedes cars. Though for a moment I thought he was going to convert from a tail-gate'r to a back seat passenger.


Speed traps are not relative measures of guilt. They take no consideration
of my circumstances. That I am a courteous driver. That I drive carefully
through built up areas. That I keep my distance from other vehicles. That I
am a nice chap who helps others in need. That I brush my teeth twice a day.
It is not fair.
They are absolute.

70 mpm

It doesn't matter how good you are. You may have better morals than a
christian. But if you haven't entered in through the 'front door' -that is
Jesus- then God does not recognise you as one of his. Sorry but you just
don't make the grade. The standard has been set. It is an absolute. And you
don't pass. No consideration is given for effort.

This might seem wrong. Surely God is Love. Yes, because of that love he is
also Just.

In a speed trap you can be let off if you can show someone else was driving
your car at the time; so it is with God.

Jesus, whose license was clean, said he was "driving my car". Because of
Jesus, I pass Gods absolute test.

...being thirtyseven

... (happy birthday to me)

...

I am alive!

and I have pressies!!!

...that first feeling

My four year old daughter sat quiet and sombre in the back of the car all
the way to the party. An occasional sob could be heard too followed by an
under-the-breath declaration "I really love that video". This was my
daughters first viewing of E.T. the extra terrestrial. It struck me how my
daughter has been changing. All tears over the last years have been
attributed to pain, or hunger or an 'I want' but can't have. But this was a
different, new emotion. She had empathy with the little ugly alien.
At what point in our Christian lives to we mature from a self-centred God
dependant relationship to a God centred relationship. Feeling emotion
birthed in His spirit not our needs.
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things
will be added to you also". I think true worship is our 'E.T' experience.
We focus on His glory, His wonder, His plans and goals. He then becomes
our source to draw upon that satisfies all our needs.

Other great first feelings:
The first time I brought my wind-surf board up onto the plane. Wow
Exhilarating!
The first time I came through a 'duck' during a caving trip.
The first time I got my cable stuck whilst going through a 'duck'
during a caving trip.
The first time I gave my life to Christ Jesus. He hit me with rocket
fuel !!
When I crashed my motorbike at 80mph and thought I might die.
The first time during worship at the 'Dales bible week' with
thousands of Christians worshipping God. Felt so small and so big at the
same time.
Falling in love.
The first time I stopped a squadron of armoured tanks with only the
authority of my uniform. (that taught me something about acting in Gods
strength , not our own).
My first SCUBA dive.


(what is a duck -- when the cave passage dips down briefly and is
completely submerged in water)