...queues

Throughout the year it is hard to find someone who is not busy doing this or that; going somewhere or plugged into the telly set. But Christmas is here!

Christmas is a great time for everyone to practice that great British pastime. Queuing.

Folks from all over the country, from all walks of life are standing around for up to 20 minutes doing nothing but standing in a queue.

People desperate for someone like you to tell them some good news. What a better way to put some life into the shopping trip. What a great opportunity!

But we need to practice. So natural it is to fall into that other British pastime.
-Moaning.

To help you get started I have included some excerpts from the:
"Good News - on Cue - Starters pack" (available from all good bookstores).

Introductory phrases: designed to initiate converse with otherwise non-interactive individual. (PLEASE MEMORIZE PRIOR TO LEAVING FOR SHOPPING OUTING)

"Don't you just love Christmas shopping. I get to buy all those things for my DOG/CHILDREN/BEST FRIEND (delete as appropriate) I've been resisting all year long".

"Isn't there a great atmosphere in TOWN/ARCADE/MARKET this time of year".

"Isn't it nice to a have rest for a few minutes, would you like me to pay for that for you?"

---

Interesting fact

"Word History: When the British stand in queues (as they have been doing at least since 1837, when this meaning of the word is first recorded in English), they may not realize they form a tail. The French word queue from which the English word is borrowed is a descendant of Latin cda, meaning “tail.” French queue appeared in 1748 in English, referring to a plait of hair hanging down the back of the neck. By 1802 wearing a queue was a regulation in the British army, but by the mid-19th century queues had disappeared along with cocked hats. Latin cda is also the source of Italian coda, which was adopted into English as a musical term (like so many other English musical terms that come from Italian). A coda is thus literally the “tail end” of a movement or composition."

...forgiveness

"C.S. Lewis wrote, 'Forgiveness goes beyond human fairness;it is pardoning those things that can't readily be pardoned at all'(2)
This is why it is always costly to forgive; we have to sacrifice our pride, our self-pity and our desire for justice. Our culture places tremendous stress on doing all we can to maintain our rights. When we forgive we are laying down our right to justice and our desire for revenge."(1)

(1) Nicky & Sils Lee The Marriage book, Alpha international publications 2002 p.174
(2) C.S.Lewis The Four Loves : Fount , Harper Collins religious 1998 p.116

...the speed camera van

The problem with having a birthday on a working day, is that you may
forget to fill up the car with petrol, in your eagerness to get home and
open pressies.
And you may then find yourself in a bit of a hurry getting to work the next
day.

Thank goodness for the hard working public spirited camera van operator. He allowed my mind to re-focus on the need for a staid and sedate journey to work. I'm also thankful for the efficient braking system of Mercedes cars. Though for a moment I thought he was going to convert from a tail-gate'r to a back seat passenger.


Speed traps are not relative measures of guilt. They take no consideration
of my circumstances. That I am a courteous driver. That I drive carefully
through built up areas. That I keep my distance from other vehicles. That I
am a nice chap who helps others in need. That I brush my teeth twice a day.
It is not fair.
They are absolute.

70 mpm

It doesn't matter how good you are. You may have better morals than a
christian. But if you haven't entered in through the 'front door' -that is
Jesus- then God does not recognise you as one of his. Sorry but you just
don't make the grade. The standard has been set. It is an absolute. And you
don't pass. No consideration is given for effort.

This might seem wrong. Surely God is Love. Yes, because of that love he is
also Just.

In a speed trap you can be let off if you can show someone else was driving
your car at the time; so it is with God.

Jesus, whose license was clean, said he was "driving my car". Because of
Jesus, I pass Gods absolute test.

...being thirtyseven

... (happy birthday to me)

...

I am alive!

and I have pressies!!!

...that first feeling

My four year old daughter sat quiet and sombre in the back of the car all
the way to the party. An occasional sob could be heard too followed by an
under-the-breath declaration "I really love that video". This was my
daughters first viewing of E.T. the extra terrestrial. It struck me how my
daughter has been changing. All tears over the last years have been
attributed to pain, or hunger or an 'I want' but can't have. But this was a
different, new emotion. She had empathy with the little ugly alien.
At what point in our Christian lives to we mature from a self-centred God
dependant relationship to a God centred relationship. Feeling emotion
birthed in His spirit not our needs.
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things
will be added to you also". I think true worship is our 'E.T' experience.
We focus on His glory, His wonder, His plans and goals. He then becomes
our source to draw upon that satisfies all our needs.

Other great first feelings:
The first time I brought my wind-surf board up onto the plane. Wow
Exhilarating!
The first time I came through a 'duck' during a caving trip.
The first time I got my cable stuck whilst going through a 'duck'
during a caving trip.
The first time I gave my life to Christ Jesus. He hit me with rocket
fuel !!
When I crashed my motorbike at 80mph and thought I might die.
The first time during worship at the 'Dales bible week' with
thousands of Christians worshipping God. Felt so small and so big at the
same time.
Falling in love.
The first time I stopped a squadron of armoured tanks with only the
authority of my uniform. (that taught me something about acting in Gods
strength , not our own).
My first SCUBA dive.


(what is a duck -- when the cave passage dips down briefly and is
completely submerged in water)

...this Kennedy quote

As my 37th birthday approaches. I think back over the last 20 years and remember all the things I thought I would have done by now. Well this quote helps to stoke up those fires. Cheers James for posting this one.

http://jaubs.blogspot.com/2004/12/this-world-demands-qualities-of-youth.html

...a firm foundation

the bible talks of building ones house upon the rock and not upon the sand. As a Christian that rock is Jesus himself. All my hopes, all my confidence, my security both emotionally and physically, is based on a one to one relationship with the King. When I kneel before the Lord, he knows me through. He sees my weaknesses. And though I would wish to be more for him; he does not despise me for my lack. He chooses to call me his friend. To place his garments on me. Fine clothes I have not earned and have no right to wear- but that he has freely done so. He makes me an heir with him. Makes me an ambassador for his kingdom.


The day is now. Because he has done it.

...God's sense of humour.

Why is it when you ask God, he seldom gives you the whole answer. But just enough to take you the next step. Seek and pray as a might. I could not receive any conviction on the topic to cover the whole evening of our mid-week group in my home.
There were gaps in my plan.
That does not go down well with me. As a Chartered Engineer I like to plan, then study the alternatives, then plan the contingency.
God knows the type of chap I am. He knows that I need to learn to go out on a limb. Trusting God to supply the next step in time.
Last Wednesdays home group meeting was an incomplete plan - from my viewpoint- . I asked and asked that God would 'turn up' and not leave me high and dry.
And he did. We had such a great time, with God using all the people in the group to bring home his word to us.
It was exciting!.
'The dynamic of God is always outside our comfort zone.'

...musak

"I'll only be 30 minutes, love". How nice to be lulled out of those petty commitments and the every present rush of live by the never ending, unobtrusive, soothing, lamenting inoffensive music tracks. (carefully chosen by a well paid psychologist I suppose) .
With the added advantage that it releases your mind to notice those extra purchases the necessity of which had not been fully realised prior to your visit.
A quick trip to the Range to buy one of those lovely plastic storage boxes I have always been drawn to; and I ended up buying 4 plus two plastic fridge jugs and two 35 pence funnels.

The absolute necessity of this storage box is largely due to my wives thoughtfulness in relocating any personal item I had 'mis-placed' to the bottom of my wardrobe. I knew I had to find a new place when I noticed my shirt no longer hang straight.

...inspiration

It is freely given to those who don't have to do the work.

...going the other way

freedom is never so dear than when it could easily be lost. The freedom of
the open road often taken for granted. But each morning heading out of
Cardiff to Margam I pass the jostling stressed out commuters going INTO
town. Queuing dutifully in their daily well rehearsed ritual. Not for me
though. What a wonderful peaceful drive this morning. The warm glow of the
autumn sun cascading pools of colour across the bay. The mist drifting
enchantingly upon the river and vale. An open road that invites me to relax
and ponder how good life is.

...pen-knifes

there is something rather manly about carrying a pen-knife It has little to do with utility. There is a hidden power and security in the knowledge that in time of peril , you have the ability to handle yourself. Us penknife keepers get such a sense of well-being and personal achievement when faced with an opportunity to demonstrate ones preparedness. No cotton thread is to trivial.
I have my office pen-knife, which sits in my right trouser pocket to be thumbed all day. The insignia of the donating company has all but worn off. The ideal toy for those daily meetings. I can't stop myself from retracting and inserting the toothpick and tweezers over and over again. I just love the way they slide so neatly and unobtrusively into place. I would not be without them. One day, one day I may find a use for them.
The key-ring penknife is by far the most useful. Simple, Christmas cracker sort of thing. The plastic cover fell of years ago leaving a raw metal, "I've lived" feel. Nearly lost this one at Maastricht airport ( more akin to a jetty than a port). Having read the security warning about sharps in hand luggage I proceeded to remove the nail snippers that always sit in the outside pocket of my "Matlab conference '97" shoulder bag and stow it in the suitcase. But plain forgot about the faithful friend on my keys.
The keen eyed attendant spotted it in the x-ray and meticulously searched through until he found the offending item. When he handed it back to me I presumed it was my honest expression, until he declared, much to loudly, as passers by could definitely hear " too SMALL ". I rather wished that he had kept it.!

...the office toilet

this is the one place where the toilet seat is left up by default. It's really irritating when someone has been in before and is too lazy to put it back up!. Something doesn't feel right about wee-ing in a toilet where someone has just done their 2's.
The office toilet is one of those special ones installed by the typical British workman. The distance from the seat to the tank is too small. So that the seat will not rest backwards against the tank. For a while the common practice was a kind of awkward stance with one hand holding the seat and the other the necessaries. The condition of the surrounding area was testament to the inefficiency of this method.
I proudly pioneered the 'seat under tank lid' technique. This has now been widely adopted by all in the office to the relieve of the office cleaner - who always leaves the seat down incidentally, but she is a girl -. As with all great ideas the original source of the inspiration has been lost in peoples minds. There goes another great invention!